literature

Chapterlet One

Deviation Actions

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“This place is so fucking redundant,” he said suddenly.

I didn’t take my eyes off the road. The darkening farmland kept rolling on, just as it had done for the past four--no, five-- hours. The last decent rock station had fizzled into nothing ages ago, leaving behind only the regurgitated dregs of the airwaves: county music and Christian talk radio. The kid in the passenger seat had made one of his patented looks of disgust and switched off the radio. We’d been riding in silence ever since.

“Ye can say tha agin,” I said. I let out a dry half-laugh, smirking at my own dumb joke. Beside me, the kid sighed. I swear, I almost felt him roll his eyes. Stupid prat. Can’t even appreciate a good dose of irony.

Funny, I thought, I still cannae kick calling ‘im a kid. He’s only a few years younger than me…

I glanced over at my companion on this voyage of dull. The kid--guy, dude, whatever--was sitting cross-legged on the seat. He sat with his head against the window; and his tired, pointy face, highlighted gold by the sunset, reflected faintly against the tinted glass. His short hair was dyed a cheap, acidy green.

‘E should put on his fucking seatbelt, I thought for the hundredth time. I sighed and looked back to that damn endless highway. Whatever. I wasn’t his mother.

“Couldn’t you have just, like, teleported us there?” he asked. “It couldn’t have been as painful as this.”

My hands tightened on the steering wheel. Little shit…

“Like it’s tha simple,” I said. “Lissen, I’hve already told ye, this place is a dead zone, largest in tha country--

“And by ‘dead zone,’ you mean ‘I’m a lazy fuck who didn’t feel like over exerting my (now in the breathy tones of a Southern belle) delicate constitution‘.”

“Shut yer damn mouth or I’m makin’ ye pump gas at the next rest stop.”

The kid twitched violently in his seat, his hands reaching instinctively to the small bottle of Lysol concealed in his jacket. He sat stiffly for a moment.

“Ugh. That’s low man, even for you.” He slowly withdrew his hands from his jacket and sulked. The rows of tilled earth kept spinning by, looking for all the world like the spokes of a giant bicycle. The last of the sun was fading to a fiery red, and there was a slight click as I switched on the brights. Damn, I thought, I’m so sick o’ drivin‘.

“So yah,” I said, just to fill the silence. “They happen naturally ya know, tha dead zones. Remember wha’ I told ye about earth magics?”

I had been attempting to teach him the fundamentals of magic for some time now. Nothing serious, just bits of basic information here and there; things people in our line of work kind of need to know. But the kid sighed again.

“And it’s Wizarding 101 with Dr. Cameron!” he said. “Ok…um…something about…ley lines and nodes and shit?”

“Good job, boyo. Ye get a gold star. And yah, those ‘nodes and shit’ cause tha natural energies o’ the world to flow across this fine ol’ country. Tha energy exists everywhere in different degrees; but sometimes, due to geography o’ whatever, these energies get blocked and tha area becomes-- “     

“--A dead zone. Yeah yeah, professor. I know. But you. You use that sigily Irish shit. With the triangles and crap. How does the lack of earth magic affect you?”

“Ye really don’t lissen, do ye? Ye cannae do, bah, how to put it, area effects in a dead zone. My teleportation spells, as ye should already know, basically involve me kicking physics in tha ass and ripping a hole in all tha’ space-time-continuum-bullshit. Once I’ve made a little nice hole, I can skip off  to wherever my merry heart desires--”

“Except in a dead zone.”

“Except in a dead zone.”

“Because there’s no energy to tear.”

“Ye got it, boyo.”

“And that’s why we have to drive all the way across this God-forsaken slice of Americana. In a rental car.”

“Yep.”

“Well…that’s dumb.”

“Yes. Yes it is.”

Silence again. The kid frowned bitterly and crossed his arms over his chest. (And I wondered why I kept calling him “kid”.)

“Who the fuck holds a damn wizarding convention in a dead zone!?” he burst out suddenly.

I scowled. Little ingrate…

“It’s actually a very good idea,” I replied, “from a defensive point o’ view. The gathering is at tha very edge o’ the zone so--”

“So we have waste a shit load of gas money to get there! Couldn’t you have…I don’t know, teleported us around the dead zone?”

My grip tightened on the steering wheel.

“Getting us both safely to and from a suitable location would have taken almost as long as this wonderful road trip, an’ afterwards I would have been in no condition to HOLY MOTHER!

Something darted into the road. I hit the breaks and instinctively jerked the car to the right. The shit rental’s brakes locked up and we were spinning. The kid yelled. We hit gravel. I waved my pinky finger quickly in several small triangles. A clear layer of energy surrounded us as we suddenly careened into a ditch. I was thrown against the steering wheel. My head smashed against the top of the wheel, but the energy shield absorbed much of the blow. The kid flew forward and slammed heavily against the dashboard as the car jerked to a sudden stop. I gripped the steering wheel as my heart attempted to claw its way out of my chest. Silence. For several moments, I just breathed.

Then SWOOSH, the air bag exploded out of the steering wheel and I about pissed myself.

I leaned my head wearily against the airbag, the white release powder dusting my hair. This shit probably causes cancer, I thought. I reached a hand around the air bag and turned off the ignition. A muddled fuck! came from the passenger seat. Beside me, the kid began fighting viciously against the air bag, spitting burning curses as he did.

Wow. He could set tha car on fire with language like that…Och, my head…

Eyes closed, I fumbled for the door handle. Thankfully, it opened, and I stumbled out of the car. My sock covered feet sank unpleasantly into the cold, dark mud. I looked down and saw my feet submerged in the freezing goop, and a giddy laugh bubbled out of my throat. I’d forgotten I’d taken my boots off some time ago. Now they were most likely lodged under the driver’s seat, where I would have a heel of a time retrieving them.

An angry snarl erupted from the other side of the car. The kid threw open the door and staggered to his feet. He turned around swiftly and slammed the door behind him.

“What the HELL are you laughing about? Look at this shit!”

I did. The orange-red sky gave us more than enough light to see by, not that the car, angled precariously in the ditch, was unobtrusive or anything. The rear tires of the car were completely off the ground and continued to spin in a confused kind of way. Squelching through the mud, I moved to check the front of the car. The shield I had cast had kept the bumper and hood intact, but the front wheels were buried deep in black mud and dead vegetation. Still cursing, the kid trudged up the weed covered incline, slipping and sliding as he did. I noticed the deep ruts the car had made in the side of ditch.

How fast was I going?, I wondered.

The kid reached the side of the road and had a sort of a mini-fit, as if he were trying to shake bugs from his clothing. As I made my own way out of the ditch, I saw the mud on his hands, and I actually felt a little sorry for him. My legs felt like lemon jello as I slipped my way up the steep slope. My head was aching fiercely. The kid looked up from his dirty hands to me as I rounded the elevated end of the car. He looked like he was about to spit fire.

“Good job, Cameron, Fran’s going to love this one.”

The words of his tirade were like hammer blows to my head, but he just kept on talking.

“You never ever ever try to dodge an animal! Shit, man! You could have flipped the damn car!”

“I didnae even see tha damn thing! If ye hadnae been distractin me with yer idiocy-”

“Hey, YOU were the one driving man. You ain’t putting this off on me.” He threw his hands up in exasperation. “I don’t even know why I agreed to come on this fucking trip!”

“Fran,” I said. The kid gaped like a green-tinged goldfish, or greenfish.

“W-wel--j-just because she asked me--”

“Shut up, ye dolt! I meant we should call her. Call somebody.  Do…something, shit, my head hurts.” I rubbed a dirty hand against my eyes. Maybe I have a concussion, I thought. I tried to continue this line of thought, but a wave of nausea suddenly crashed over me. I swayed on the side of the road, but somehow kept my feet. The kid had not noticed. He was attempting to use his cell phone without touching it with his muddy fingers.

“Damn, no reception. And the last town was miles back. Do you think we should try to--”

The rest of his question dissolved into gibberish as a familiar crushing sickness washed over me. Lights exploded at the edge of my sight, and I knew I was about to succumb to a mother fucking psychic vision.

Shit, Shit, SHIT, I thought wildly. I stumbled backwards, hoping to reach the ditch and avoid collapsing on the road. The kid, finally noticing me, rushed forward. He reached a hand towards me but I stepped away. The lights were growing brighter now. The kid was yelling something, but his face was blurring before my eyes. The lights were growing brighter, a constant burning whiteness that flooded my senses. These… these lights…This wasn’t…normal.

Suddenly, it was all too much. The kid yelled something again, but the world seemed to be hastening away…

“Shit. Vision.” was all I could choke out before the highway rushed up to meet me.


Edit: BAH. DA deleted all the indentions and italics!!! :ohnoes: Does anyone know how to fix it? I CAN'T GET IT TO WOOOORK. T____T

WOO, CHAPTERLET ONE!

This is my first entry for *yourpleasantdarkness's contest! WOO!

Some background:

1. These are not my characters!

2. Cam is a Wizard (Warlock to be more precise)

3. This is slightly AU. For those in the know, pretend more time passed between Fran and Cam taking care of Kale and shit going down with Kramer!

4. Cam is Irish! Use your imagination!

Aaaaannnddd...ENJOY!

AND STAY TUNED FOR MORE ACTION, ADVENTURE, CHUPACABRAS, AND GAY COWBOYS! HUZZAH!
© 2007 - 2024 Voodoofish
Comments5
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eshkenazi's avatar
Niiiice. I thought the characterization was perfect. And I imagine Cam's accent is really hard to write. He gets those visions at the most inopportune times.

And Kale. :heart: I love his response to Cameron mentioning Fran. *L* That was perfect.